You are KIDDING me, right?

You are KIDDING me, right?

This is completely my luck!
Something good happens, and then what?
Something really, really, stupid happens.

Soffy! Yeah!
OK, so there are a few comments by me on Heddy’s (heddasaur! She rocks, baby) profile, and some on mine.
About some girl being a ho, ho-face, slut, maneater, etc. And Soffy thinks it’s about her.
Because SHE fancies my brother, and Alfee happened to hack HER account, as well. I mean, SO? And me and Heddy NEVER wrote those!

A)- would be so stupid as to bitch about her on our profiles? She’s on our top friends list, she’s bound to see

B)- why would we? What are we, retarded? Anyway, Heddy has only communicated with her, about, once! With me in the conversation!

C)- what is stopping me from going up to her at break and saying “yeah, you know what, Soffy? I don’t like you”? Nothing! She should know my character better than that as to think I wouldn’t. I have no hold-backs!

I mean, seriously! I call her a bitch to her face. I call her moody to her face. I call her temperamental and on constant PMS to her face.
So if I thought she was a maneater- especially considering my own brother, for crying out loud- why wouldn’t I tell her?
So, yes, I did throw a cup at her. And yes, the fantasies that the girl me and Heddy were chatting about were the same as Soffy’s.
BUT ME AND HEDDY DIDN’T WRITE THEM!

And she’s upset “I” put down in a comment “BULLSEYE, BABY! BULLSEYE!”. I said bullseye to her when the cup met her forehead full on! Even if that was me, so damn what??

And now all my best friends hate me. I mean, come on!
So, as I leave the Library as the bell signalling for the end of break rings, I grab my bag and head out, turning back to see what she is doing.
She is getting hugged by Stephanie and all the others are huddling around her.
Do you know what Soffy said to me?
“I don’t like talking to you like this, and I’d be really happy if I found out you had been hacked, because it hurts me speaking to you like this.”
Well, then, don’t!

No wonder Steph and Jane were weird when I went up to them at break. I went to hug Steph as usual, and they were just being… not overly different, just slightly… it was… you know in Breaking Dawn? When Bella can see the changes in Renesmee that would be naked to the human eye? It was like that. Nobody else could see it- we seemed normal to everybody else. But I knew that… well, when I said hello, their posture changed. Unconsciously, their bodies moved away slightly, as if curving around my surrounding air, for crying out loud.

Wow, I really do read too many vampire stories. But can anybody blame me?

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe there ISN’T a difference between rebellion and emo (or, perhaps, just for me).

I just don’t get it!
I knew I shouldn’t have told anyone about how upset and annoyed I was when Soffy kept going on about how much she loved Jake (not my Mibba friend Jake- and amazing counsellor- but in fact a very good friend of mine, and an old crush- and didn’t he know it…), and how she was in love with him. I spoke to Stephanie and Nathalie about it.
Their reactions then were completely supportive.
Now?
It’s my fault that I was willing to turn my back on Soffy if I had to choose between her and Jake.

My argument:
Jake and me are close. Yes, granted, we are penpals and have never met. But I know everything about him, just as he does me. The only reason I said that, was because Soffy knew I’d just got over my rather stupid feelings for Jake, yet she was rubbing it in.
Hell, she even planned what trailer park they were going to live in, in Buffalo!
I mean, Buffalo! Where did that even come from?!
And when I told Catrina, the Sisterhood head (we made it together, and although we can’t talk a lot, she is amazing) she agreed that Soffy could have respected my feelings better.
She emailed me about the lingerie she was planning on wearing on her and Jake’s wedding night! And their kids names! How could that not freak me out?

Also, she says, everytime she likes a guy, they think she’s in love, but she’s not- she just gets crushes.
THEN WHY DOES SHE SAY SHE’S IN LOVE??

I can’t take this! Everytime I trust someone, they wreck it!
Great. Now I have to go back to those trust exercises I’d been working on.

Fine, I get that everybody would automatically go to Soffy because she was their friend first. But come on! Is nobody giving me the benefit of the doubt??
No wonder I never talk about anything (and people then think I’m LYING), this happens all the time!

I HATE TRUSTING PEOPLE. WHOEVER IS CLOSE TO ME ALWAYS WRECKS IT.
No wonder my best friends are considered on OTHER CONTINENTS! Such as AUSTRALASIA AND NORTH AMERICA!

Shit.
Wait.
Pause.

Oh, no.
I’m not crying.
I’m not crying.

Shit.
No.
Please.
Not again.
Please.

It’s coming back.
I’ve had the final straw.

Oh my god, it’s back.
Someone help me.

I’m not crying.
I know why I’m not crying.

Crap.
It’s back again.