High school. Friends. Stuff like that.

High school. I can't believe we're really going to have to split up next year. I'll miss so many people. Devin: fun, includes everyone. Kathleen: funny, nice. Becca: makes you feel good about yourself. Sam: sweet, perky, funny. These people who are good friends and so many more. I can't believe that next year, they won't be there. I mean, there's really no one you can go to in high school saying, "Hey, remember that time in 7th grade when we dissected frogs?" And if you do say that, they certainly won't respond with "Oh yeah! And you were all grossed out because Evan put his gum in its mouth?" We've had so many good times, from the gross Alaskan German guy with the fish story to the retreat and Michael randomly calling me Squanto in lit class. I'll miss everyone so much.

... Well, maybe not everyone. But even *they* can be decent sometimes. When they want to be.

But high school will also be exciting. A new start. But... what if you don't know who your friends are in high school? What if you talk to someone like every day but they don't think of you as a friend? Bring it on, because I'm a pro at stuff like that. Not that I don't have friends. I have my gymnastics friends, my dance friends, my school friends, and my acting friends. Some fall in more than one category. It's with those really weird, unpredictable people who are nice but mean at the same time. The ones who make you feel so great when you're around them, but you have no way of knowing what they're saying when you're not there. I remember the harsh feeling. You feel lonely and isolated when you do know what they've been saying. I'm a very strong person. And I learned something from a unpredictable person like this. You have to ask yourself a very serious question.

Do I really want to be around//associated with someone like this?

The answer may be hard to hear because you know what it is. It's no. Of course not. Why bother, if they don't really even treat you like a friend? And worse come to worst, chances are that a person like this has treated some other people that way. And guess what? They liked it about as much as you do. And they might stay away from you, at least when you're with that particular person.

As one line from my poem, Welcome to the Teen Years, goes:

You can say it to my face or you can say it to my back
Stabbing, laughing about what you think I lack

Simply meaning that this person will say whatever they want because, as you know, deep down, they're insecure. But you can take it as a compliment: You're such a good, smart, charming, funny person that they find you to be a threat and need to tear you down. But you're stronger than that.

You really are.

<33 xoxo maria
November 16th, 2008 at 12:04am