unsent letter

Dear Mom&Dad:

So I do drugs, and I drink, and I have unprotected sex and I am stupid and emotional and immature and completely compulsive and selfish and ugly and rotten and and.

A lot thing you don't want to know about. I keep it in a box next to my favorite Harry Potter, everything's there. I don't like it anymore than you would. I'm no longer under your roof and I can do it all in the living room at 4 AM (that's the time right now) with the stereo blasting and it's The Blood Brothers. You always hated that band, you said they screamed too much. So I'm rebelling without you present, and that's okay, it's good either way.

So I never call you because I never know what to say. Mostly I'm buzzed and that's pretty normal these days, erm, let's see. I was downtown at 5 AM with nothing to do and it was just me and Samantha and this is about where you would lecture me for being stupid.

I'm not as stupid as you think. I don't do cocaine or anything like that. See, I'm already making up excuses for everything else. I'd like to be front and honest, and I will one day.

The only band we liked together was the Killers. I dunno why that matters now. I promise to get better. I promise.

Erm, let's see. Melanie is fine.

Everything is pretty nice when you're not present. I like that the best. Goodbye, goodnight, good good good.

We never end with badbye. Or badnight.

It's always good good good good.

It's really good.