adrenaline rush

i think the reason for most of the things i do is adrenaline
like it's the reason for anyone to do pretty much anything
for him to start doing drugs
he used to get a rush from doing sports,
but after all these years it just never came again
so he looked to another place

and i think there's a difference between a high and a rush
to me a high is just feeling happy and doing what ya do
but an adrenaline rush is so much more
when you have one
you want to fly
your stomach gets these topsy turvy motives
like riding a rollercoaster without feeling sick
and that's what everyone's "goal" is
but they don't know it
and i don't understand how people can take away
other peoples "goals" and tell them they're illegal
but there is a range i suppose, like healthy and harmful
and, really, being in the OR isn't healthy
really really
not to you, nor anyone else
and i'd wished he knew when to stop
so i wouldn't be here now without a clue
fuck.
i just want to give him a bigass hug
and tell him i love him
and even lie that everything is going to be okay
because i know it wont be.