I Haven't Felt Like This Since March of Last Year

March was the last time I ever cut myself, had a thought of suicide, was even slightly emo. Later in April, I had an epiphany and my life has been so amazing since then. Now suddenly today after my last day of finals, I want nothing more then to kill myself.

I got all fucking C's and D's on my tests, do you know how bad that is? Those tests decide your future! I FUCKING FAILED MY FUTURE, DAMNIT! College won't accept a dumbass that gets shitty grades, if I don't get into college then I'm not going to be able to get a job that pays enough for an appartment, if I can't get an appartment then I'll be a fucking looser.

I can't belive it... I just can't. Nothing is even worth trying for anymore. I'm going to ammount to nothing in my future, it's going to be so hard to dig myself out of this hole if my GPA starts out at a fucking 2.something.

I hate feeling like this, I thought that maybe I had finally stopped being sad for good! I had really thought that, but a fucking dumbass like me can't ever succed in something that great. I'm so stupid.

I fucking hate myself.