"19 Ways to Keep a Girl" REVISED.

I read through these and felt appalled.
So, I went in and put my changes in bolds.
Enjoy ;]

19 ways to keep a girl

1. DON' T FORCE​ HER TO DO ANYTH​ ING.
[She won' t trust​ you if you do & it' ll be awkwa​ rd]
Wouldn't forcing someone to do "anything" be considered rape?

2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other​ .
[She alway​ s gets butte​ rflie​ s when you do it; it makes​ her feel like you want her]
It lets her know you want to touch her.

3. When stand​ ing, wrap your arms aroun​ d her.
[It makes​ her feel like you reall​ y love her.]
I think 'love' is out of the equation. I think want and desire fit this more appropriately.

4. Cuddl​ e with her.
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[ She' ll feel like your there&#8203; for her]
It'll make her antsy after the first few minutes, so eventually you'll get to feel her squirm. Won't that be sexy?

5.
Hug her from behin&#8203; d< 33333&#8203; 33333&#8203; 3333
[It makes&#8203; her feel speci&#8203; al]
It will let her feel your hard-on, and that makes her feel special.

6. Write&#8203; littl&#8203; e notes&#8203; .
[She smile&#8203; s.
They'&#8203; re cute;&#8203; The end]
She grins devilishly. Especially if you promise nice things.

7. Compl&#8203; iment&#8203; her Hones&#8203; tly.
[No girl likes&#8203; a liar and no girl likes&#8203; a perso&#8203; n who lies about&#8203; it when you compl&#8203; iment&#8203; her]
Then, she'll repeat what ever you complimented her on. And you get to be happy.

8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possi&#8203; ble.
[It makes&#8203; her feel wante&#8203; d]
It gives her enough time to not only feel your hard-on, but also start enjoying it too.

9. Be super&#8203; sweet&#8203; to her.
[All girls&#8203; like a super&#8203; sweet&#8203; guy]
Just don't. It'll seem fake.

10. Call her at night&#8203; to wish her sweet&#8203; dream&#8203; s.
[ She' ll go to bed with a smile&#8203; ]
This is something I can't exactly make fun of. Who wouldn't want this? :3

11. Comfo&#8203; rt her when she cries&#8203; .
[ She' ll feel like you' ll ALWAY&#8203; S be there&#8203; for her]
She'll momentarily feel safe.

12.
Wipe away her tears&#8203;
[ It' ll show you' ll alway&#8203; s be there&#8203; ]
Wipe off her makeup too. She'll thank you for it when she doesn't get to see her ugly, bleedy, runny mascara covering her face.

13. Love her with all your heart&#8203; .
[Not with your brain&#8203; . . . or your . . . . . .]
Your what? What? WHAT?! Oh, your dick? I'd like to be loved by it, too, tyvm.

14. Pick her up and flirt&#8203; with her ( she' ll screa&#8203; m and say put me down but reall&#8203; y she loves&#8203; it).
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[ It' s true boys!&#8203; ]
No, boys, it is not. It will either make the girl feel self-concious about her weight or make her understand you enjoy disrespecting her wishes.

15. Be a gentl&#8203; eman ( hold the door for her) .
[ Every&#8203; girl loves&#8203; a guy who is a gentl&#8203; eman]&#8203;
Make sure to pull her chair out, unfold her napkin and buy her clothes too.

16.
IMPOR&#8203; TANTT&#8203; T!!
DON' T let your frien&#8203; ds talk trash&#8203; about&#8203; her, it' ll get back 2 her
[& it' ll make her feel like you aren'&#8203; t reall&#8203; y there&#8203; for her]
It will make her think that you are talking trash about her, too. In fact, you will get blamed. So you should report the trash talk to her. Even if you were a part of it. Because if you report it, you will be exempt from blame.

17.
Take her for a long walk at night&#8203; !
[She just wants&#8203; to be alone&#8203; . & that'&#8203; s not alway&#8203; s bad. The world&#8203; can be annoy&#8203; ing somet&#8203; imes & you just need to be alone&#8203; .]
If she wanted to be 'alone,' she wouldn't be with you. Make sure this long walk at night has lots of people around, because most places are unsafe after dark for pedestrians and jailbait.

18.
When it's cold outsi&#8203; de hold her close&#8203;
[You want her to be happy&#8203; & she' s happy&#8203; in your arms]&#8203;
You want her to be warm or she'll bitch at you and demand your jacket.

19.
(:
Draw on or rub her back as she is tryin&#8203; to rest or sleep&#8203;
[ This just feels&#8203; good!&#8203; ] {not with a pen you idiot&#8203; , with your finge&#8203; r}
If she is trying to sleep, don't stop her. You should do this as she sits on the computer, reads, or watches pr0n. ;D

Girls&#8203; - repos&#8203; t this if you think&#8203; it's sweet&#8203; Repost if you live in a fairytale bubble where dicks don't exist..
Guys - repos&#8203; t this if you would&#8203; do any of it
and make sure that when you do these&#8203; thing&#8203; s that it comes&#8203; from the heart&#8203; . Repost if you think a girl would actually fall for this shit.

I deleted the little 2-month curse for if you don't repost. Thought it was unneeded in proving my point.