Biophobia

I wish I wasn't so crazy. I wish I didn't hate myself for everything.
I wish i didn't think I had to be extraordinary, ordinary isn't enough for me. It reminds me too much of how I'm going to be nothing when I'm older. The cynical parts of me make me live in fear of even school ending.

It's sucks because I hate school, yet never want to leave it. Leaving it means the end of everything, i'll never see my friends again, I'll have to become something. Have a boring life. Working class.Never going to be special. It's making me want to cry. Thinking about life like this makes me not want to live at all.

And that's probably what scares me the most.

I'm scared of losing everything, I don't know where this came from. Balling my eyes out isn't really helping either. Why am I living in this fear? What's going to happen to me?

What am I supposed to do to make this all stop??

Ugh, I'm going crazy.