My Bunny

i have so much more to say to you
pages and pages to say.
to scream to fucking cry about for you
but i dont know how. to say them
they are all there, bottled up
i just dont know how to put the pen to paper
this is all i can say right now.
all i can do to stop the tears from spilling
to a point where the don't stop
i'll smile for you.

jaden
you mean the world to me
you do you where my everything you really fucking where
im saying this as tears stream down my face
and im just trying to be strong like you said i can be
im trying to listen, i am jaden im trying to be okay without you
i want to tell you have never been selfish or thoughtless around me
never, dont ever be sorry please jaden
you didnt make things worse for me jaden you really didnt
you made everything completely better.
and thats why it hurts so bad right now
that why even after two days. im still shaking
i will always believe you loved me,
even if i felt as if i couldnt form the words to make you believe them to
i want to say you could have been there for me, just like i needed
because i cant bare to stand the thought of losing you
i want you to be everything i need, and jaden you are
you are everything, please, know that. you where amazing to me
you helped me so much and you saved me. you loved me like i needed to be loved
i am trying so hard to keep myself together, to take care of myself
but like you said. maybe i jsut need the help, even if i shouldnt need it
and now i want to say. that you said you'd always be there for me
and i want to ask why the fuck arent you here right now jaden?
where did you go, why did you have to leave so soon.
the lines are etched into my face, down my cheeks from crying so hard
i have never cried this hard in my life. i have never fucking cried so hard.
i am so scared. that when i went numb again. after taiki died
and then you came, and pried me open, and im not ever gonna be able to close again
i want to turn off the water works. i want to put on a smile for you. i want to give you everything
i love you. forever and always, you will be in my heart. my bunny. jaden you are my bunny
i hope i will always be your kitty, i hope you wont forget me. as im shaking and crying
i hope you see that i love you. i hope you can read this.
i love you, you are beautiful, and perfect. my jaden bunny, my angel