To the lost and the loved, most especially the ones I love.

The depth of the human heart, the pain the joy, why someone would lie to hide the simple joys that could be theirs. In essence we all are like her, hidden confusing, the lie we all want to call but have no real proof that its not true, shadows really. The world is not as dark as I make it seem, the light in the darkest people can still be seen and should not be ignored, however much caution one must take it is an epic venture we are all on, the trials of faith and the echoes of life. It is the days that you want to scream I hate you then cry in thier arms. The moments where you are weakest you find your true strength. I found a new level of depth this week, a new strength. A thing of hope that I question due to its origion and fear due to its light. I am afraid. Mainly of tomorrow, only that in itself is a guise as well. What I am really afraid of is being a failure to all that surround me and look to me as something. It doesnt matter if it is an enemy or a friend, a role model or a failure. It is fear that if I am not everything to myself at all times that I will fail people I have already failed simply due to the fact that I fear the failure in the first place. I knew this young woman once. I failed that person in that I allowed the pain of an instance to swallow my thoughts and continue a falsehood a guise past use into shame. I lied that I loved her. I lied that I could care after all of the pain she put me through, after all I denied everything I was just to prove I was something, someone worth something. It is only now that I look up into the eyes of the people that care about me and see that I dont have to look for love and affection, Its here for me. I just wanted to say thank you and say I love you to all the people that I now see, Thank you for being with me.