4 In The Morning

hey everyone,

Today I just realized that I slept at four and woke up and 12 and it's kinda new to me. Random I know but that's the way I am.

Well, I've been writing a lot lately and I even have new chapters and poems up so I was thinking of posting a journal but I didn't really know what to write until I thought about why I slept at four in the morning.

My first reason would be: my mom's not here so why not take advantage
and then the other? Well it was because of the song.

I mean it had been in my head for so long but I didn't really know how to let it out and when I tried to get my eyes to close at about 1 in the morning ['coz that's when I usually sleep] they just kept popping back open until I found the nerve to get up and grab my notebook and my pen. I wrote down some things but tore it after right away. It didn't seem right so I called my brother to bring his guitar over and try to write a song with me. He makes the tune while I write the lyrics.

Many times in the past, we have tried to write a song but so far, this is the only one we really liked. I mean I've written so many things but he always ends up saying "I don't like it" or "It rhymes too much" or "That's kinda cheesy" and well I gave up soon after. I was like 9 then and now that I'm 13, I came to understand the writing process more and then, the words just came out. It seemed weird at first when I re-read what I wrote because right after I wrote it down, it was like I forgot it instantly. It was like amnesia without banging my head in to something hard.

I tried to ask myself exactly why I wrote this song but I couldn't even answer the questions in my head and it was pathetic really. Gathering more questions and not really caring about all the answers. For some freaky reason, that kinda made me angry and then that's when I started to tell my brother that I really couldn't sing the song. I mean that's usually my weakness. I can't really get how the words fit in the tune I mean I can write a lot of things but when I try to add the music to it, it all turns out really wrong and it's not because I have a low self esteem it's just weakness you know and it feels weird...

Anyway I just thought of getting all that out of the system because my head is starting to explode. I'm not sure whether I should ask for any comment but if you do have something to say, just tell me :) I'd be willing to listen.

And if you want to check out the song, I posted it as a poem and it's called: I Think I Love You

Feedback would be nice though :D

-Alyssa-