2:45am 4-9-09

okay im sitting here at my at hayles house and i cant stop cring i hate my life right now i feel so fucking alone like no cares i mean i know they do but why cant HE care why cant he be here be with me i just sit here right now it hurts to breath the tears that fill my eyes burn i dont think thats suposed to happen but what ever i just dont get the fact how i can love someone so fucking much and they cant just love me back the same exact way i guess thats just life i mean i know he cares and i know he feels something for me thats what he says but he has to be so far away i dont understand it i just wanna hold him see him hear him be around him any time i fucking love him so much i dont think he gets it maybe he does i dont know but i would do anything for that boy and i mean anything i need him hes the sexiest most attractive perfect amazing almost undesribeable person ever to step face on planet earth i love him so much i and he hates it when i say that i wish i could live next door to him or with in a 10 minute not 40 minute drive it would be so much easyer but its only a foolish dream i just wish i had him i think of hoim constantly day night everything reminds me of him music tv my bed my house my island my cloths my body hes everywhere why do i have to be so addicted to him? WHY???

ILOVEYOU DILLAN ADAM HOLLIMAN!!!
<3