summer's end and my life along with it...

In exactly two weeks, school will open again and I will be a senior. Finally! So I thought "hey...I should make this summer mean something. I'll hang out with my friends and stuff like that so that I can have fun for the last time before cramming and concentrating in school..."

And I did just that...until I realized... I DON'T HAVE FRIENDS.

Christine had summer class because she flunked Chemistry...
Rigel and her other friends signed up for a summer activity in her school...
Tintin stopped talking to me all of a sudden...
Michelle is always talking about the guys that like her or the guys she flirts with and she doesn't have time to hang out...
Mel doesn't relate with my stuff...
Pat isn't always allowed to go out...

SO I resorted to going out with Felix.. my boyfriend.

Everything was going great really..
We were getting better and more open to each other.
We talk more now.
We spend a LOT of time together already.

BUT then...my mother told me I wasn't allowed to see them anymore.

I am no longer allowed to go there and spend time with them because I'm becoming disrespectful and ungrateful and snobby and mean and embarrasing.

Because my mom's friends started talking about me because I didn't swim. Because her friends thought I was snobbing them when really, I was just listening to music and didn't hear them. Because I'm hydrophobic and didn't swim with them. Because I wanted to be different and actually dressed the part.

They started talking.

And now my mom is banning me from seeing my ONLY friends left because she thinks that I changed because of them.

She never sees it from my point of view.

She never knew that I started acting like this because this is the way my sister gets attention.
Because she is never home.
Because she never gives us the time of day but instead showers us with material things.

SHE thinks I'm being disrespectful because I don't talk to people.

I don't talk because I'm afraid I'll say the wrong things. I'm afraid that I'll tell everyone else about how I feel and RUIN her hard worked image. I might ruin her REPUTATION.

And now she's making me stop seeing my friends. I can't believe her!

I might not ever see Felix until graduation if she keeps on treating me like this!

I might never have the chance to say goodbye anymore.