I'm Sara Kathryn, Though lately I'm a monster.

Who am I? I don't even think I know myself. This person who lies, cheats and does whatever it takes to get what she wants. The once sweet chubby faced girl with the curly golden locks is gone, maybe even for good. I don't know exactly how I got to be this way, all the pills,the depression, the constant anxiety over any little thing,anything I eat especially. It never ends. I am Sara Kathryn Ray,though lately Ive become a monster.

Life isnt all bad. Nope, not at all. I'm with the most amazing guy Ive ever laid eyes on. He's not like most guys. He actually treats me like a person instead of a piece of meat,you know? I just love the little things he does. The little imperfections that make me smile the most. I'm just scared Ill do something, actually I know I will probably do something and mess this all up. Nothing new.

I'm also truthfully kind of...scared? I mean, I'm stuck here, in this town I despise. Full of the people,things and everything I've ever come to hate. And yet everything Ive ever truely come to love. I don't wanna stay here forever. I also don't really wanna become attached to anything here. Because it will only make it that much harder to leave. and when I do leave. I know im never coming back. ever. and does he really know what he's getting himself into? I feel really terrible inside knowing he probably doesn't and after he learns he might regret this. Like all the rest. Which is probably why I am so scared to be myself around people, where all this anxiety comes from. Yet I feel I dont have to hide anything about me around him. Except for the more.. non socially except able things.

Hmm. I just needed to get that out. I dunno what I'm gonna do. I have my good days,and I have my bad days. Good or bad Ill just take it one day at a time,and we will go from there<3