I'm not really sure what I want to write, so bear with me!
Do we have the right to be jealous?
Take my best friend, for example, he has a girlfriend, and they're perfect together, take it from someone who knows. Anyway, a while back, I realized that I loved him totally differently to how I had before.
It was simple before, I loved him as a friend, and it never mattered who he was with, I didn't mind picking up the pieces those emotional wrecks left behind them. Then, about five months ago, he kissed me on the cheek when he was saying goodbye, and it made me get butterflies in my stomach. (I know, cliched, right?)
Anyway, I realised I was falling for him, and that scared me because when I get close to people it tends not to end well. So, I tried to dispel the feeling, but it all came out and then things went a bit awkward for a while, and they seem okay now...
Except from the fact that every time he mentions her, I feel a stab of jealousy and pain, and I wonder whether I really have the right to. In one sense, I feel that I do because they've been together for about eight months now, and in that time, I've hardly ever been envious, so it's okay.
In another, though, I had my chance one time before, and many would argue that I should have taken it, so it's my own fault I feel this way now.
I mean is it even fair for me to feel like this? Am I just being totally selfish?
If you feel you have some good advice, feel free to comment on this journal.
Ta, Kitty xxx
In My Head I'm In Her Place.
June 6th, 2009 at 12:52am