Not so sure on the love thing...

Ok, this is so contradictory to what I said last year. I'm so confused! He flirts like no tomorrow! (I flirt back of course) He refuses to let go when I give him hugs at church, yet he tells a mutual friend that he doesn't like me that way? Why does love have to be so confusing? It makes no sense! Yet, no matter how much I try to convince myself he's not worth my time, every time I get a text from him, or He smiles at me at church, my heart beats faster and the butterflies come back. I'm so confused. I wish he would just tell me outright! All of our mutual friends from church are convinced we're going to be together someday, but why am I not so convinced? Why do I find myself calling my mom and crying like a baby every time I think of how he really might not love me back? Why do I even care anymore? I'm not so sure. Is this some kind of scam my hearts playing on me? or is my brain trying to convince my heart to not chase foolish dreams. It's not quite fair. End of rant. Oh, and just something random. Rodeo is doing good. Im running even faster than I was last year and the rodeo has grown enough to no longer be based at the church, but at a local arena. The blowout is august 8th at John Justin Arena in Ft Worth. Pretty exciting! I may not have a chance at the buckles, or the saddles, but im getting a chance to minister to the hearts of others, and possibly win something else. lol. Rick said they might be giving another trailer away this year. Hopefully I get it, if there is one. And I'll definately win something for saying my verses... Other than getting my 200 dollar entry fees paid for! yay! ok. im done now! a little advice on the landon thing? thanks guys!

andrea
June 17th, 2009 at 10:25am