Top Ten Presents Most Likely to be Exchanged on Christmas

1. kunai--for that hard to shop for ninja

2. new Leaf village headband--Sakura's subtle way of telling Sasuke to come back

3. stationary paper soaked in contact poison--since Itachi likes to write letters to Sasuke, Sasuke figures this could be an easy way to do that monster in

4. "How to Kill Your Clan for Dummies"--written by Itachi; Itachi wants Sasuke to know how he did it (waste of paper since all it talks about is how hate makes you powerful enough to do it and explains how to get it--kill your best friend)

5. a tampon, a bottle of Midol, and some heat wraps for cramps--Sai figures this will remedy Sakura's bitchiness

6. Make Out Paradise Collector's Series--Jiraya continues to promote himself by using Kakashi as a walking billboard advertisement

7. an explosive clay bird--Tobi can chase it...and when he's safely away from them, Deidara will detonate it

8. a map showing the path from the Sound Village back to Konoha--Naruto's not-so-subtle way of telling Sasuke to come back

9. a new Akatsuki cloak with Itachi's name embroidered on the inside collar--Kisame knows Itachi's the flashy type

10. a letter that simply says "Leave. Me. ALONE."--Sasuke is sick of his former teammates

TO BE CONTINUED...