I've liked this guy for a while. But I don't want to go out with him- it's got nothing to do with him personally. He's wonderful. I just really feel that it wouldn't be fair to him if I said yes, and then never saw him because I'm barely allowed out.
He had a girlfriend, I thought she was really nice but it turns out she... Idk. I barely know her, and you can't just judge someone on one thing they did you know? Everyone else seems to think I'm always... idk. It's complicated :S
Ok? So they broke up. I don't know the fine details and in a way, I'm glad I don't know because if I did, I probably wouldn't stop obsessing over it.
I think this next sentence is really for myself, But uhh yeah:
I won't go poking my nose into other people's business, as it is not wanted
*~*---*~*
[1] I'm "happy" because they are no longer together
[2] I'm "happy" because now he finally sees how horrible she is
[3] I'm "happy" because now that he's single, I might have a chance
[4] I'm "happy" because I don't have to see him with another girl again [for a while at least]
[5] I'm "happy" because he's sad?
*~*---*~*
But I'm not happy at all!!!
How CAN you be happy at someone else's misery? That is horrible!
Especially someone who means so much to you??
If anything, I am Angry
Yes. I am really really Angry!!
Because I went through all that... I don't know the word for it, I can't think properly.. 反正我都是为了他们两，才接受了哪些所有的难过!!!!!
I'm sorryyy but it's just because everyone's chinese.. I only know how to describe it in chinese. :( I fail.
I went through that because I wanted him to be Happy Like truely truely happy. Because I saw them together and he was really smiling. Really. I saw it with my own eyes!
I saw... and it broke my heart. That I couldn't make him happy like that.
So I stepped back into the shadows for a bit. And I thought I was doing well. Really well.
Then this news comes.
ARRGH!
WHAT MUST I DO TO PROVE IT EVERYONE THAT IS A SHOCK TO ME AS WELL?!
I can't be happy knowing that he's miserable.
My sole mantra for the past few months -besides "I will get through this, and it will pay off in the end." was:
As long as he's happy
I went through so much! [okay this is sounding quite pathetic now,]
BUT WHY DID IT HAVE TO END LIKE THIS?
WHY did she have to be so horrible in the end?!
why?