I'm sitting here at my computer, trying to write out the 2nd chapter to The Voice Within, but I can't. My mind keeps taking me back to dinner, when my brother & I went out to lunch with his girlfriend Michelle.
Michelle & Justin(brother) have been dating for about 2 years now, so she's grown on me. I love her like a sister, honestly. She's my total BFF & shopping buddy :P
But during the car ride to Steak & Shake, Justin told me "not to act like myself." And in my head, I was screaming, what the hell is that supposed to mean?! Even Michelle asked me after we got home.
I now realize, my brother is ashamed of me ): I've always been myself and if it embarrassed him, why didn't he tell me before? I feel terrible, like, that literally makes me feel like a piece of shit.
But not only that, but I'm mad at him, too. After what he put me through - what I put myself through because of him. But I'm won't do something stupid, not again.
But I don't know what to feel. Should I be mad at him? Or should I be mad at myself? Should I be sad that I embarrass him in public?
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