Friday 24th July 2009

I woke up at six thirty, pretty early considering I usually wake up at seven forty five (Haha! That’s 45 minutes before school starts). And that was because I had set an alarm the day before. So, I went to the bathroom... blahblahblah… And changed into a pair of jeans and a black and white striped top for the party... I know. Not very original... But C’mon... When has Mary ever dressed up for anything…? Yeah... you see my point. So after changing, I used the one-night hair colourer to streak my hair. I had half of it blue, and the other half was pink. That sort of balanced out the fact I didn’t dress very well. It took like nearly an hour doing it. I had some trouble gathering Ms Hussain gifts, because the photo frame didn’t seem to fit in that tiny gift bag, so I decided to forget about the frame, and give her a pricey pashmina my mother had. *she doesn’t wear stuff like that*Haha! So… After that I had to go get cardboard for Ash.. apparently she needed it for Miss Begums certificate. I didn’t know where my sisters A2 cardboard book was, considering it was huge and I still didn’t find it, So I woke up my poor sister, and she didn’t find it, that’s because I didn’t give her a chance to. I had found it. Haha. There was no point. Okay enough of that. Ash then phoned me, for reasons.. Lol. I think. Then I had breakfast, and my mum had woken up, it was around eight by then, and I found random pasta on the worktop, and I ate it. :D So… then my dad drove me off to school, and it was pretty boring taking into consideration he never talks. I then brought a card for Ms Hussain from the shop next to the school. I went the corridors next to my class, and found my friends dressed as if they were going to a wedding. It was... so asianified. And I also had found my class decorated so well… It would’ve taken more time to set up the streamers, ribbons and balloons then have the actual party. Yeah… after the fascination over my hair, and people’s outfits, we just there for a good two hours doing nothing but mess around. We signed cards and stuff like that. And me and @habZm tweeted a bit, and typed up some speeches for the teachers, and our classmates that were leaving. We also took pictures of random things like scissors and banners, which I will post up on twitpic soon.  xD. When my teacher Ms Hussain got changed into her party outfit, we all ran to class and hid anywhere that wasn’t visible from the classroom door, and when she came in, we screamed.  xD. After that we started wondering around classrooms, and resided in rubina’s class. Where we danced, and shook our booties. Me and Zee had decided to dance Arabian. and made up a little dance. WOO-HAA! The rest of the classes all came to ours, and the party and booty shaking began. I was forced to get up and dance. D: I was kind of not wanting to, because everyone was cheering ‘Zee’ On.. And not me. D: Awwh. Haha! Self-sympathy. Then everyone that had prepared a dance went up on the so-called dance floor and well… shook off. :D That’s a polite way of putting it. Everyone was watching. o.0. When I came back, @habZm said I was good, so that sort of encouraged me. To be honest I’m so nervous when it gets to dancing, or even reading something aloud. I start shaking. But.. Then again I felt different, for some odd reason. THEN.. @RedStitches_MCR CAME!! I was so excited! I seriously went HIGH. MAD. She doesn’t go to my school, but she stayed, she used to come though, so that was awesome. She had even made a cake for Ms Begum *that was leaving*… And she pushed me cos I didn’t tell her Ms Hussain was. WTF. Lol!! Hahaha! I remember that push so well. Then me and her walked to the dining room, and sang dead, and a couple of other songs. I remember this so well ‘God make Coke, god made Pepsi, and god made Gerard so fucking damn sexy’ That was hilarious! Yeah.. and we walked back out of the dining room. We had so much fun. We then danced some more. *including me* I was.. the one encouraging others to dance.. surprisingly. We then played musical bumps, and had awesome times.  AND I WON!! I GOT THE PERFUME WINNERS PRIZE!! WOO-HAA! Me and @RedStitches_MCR were cheating. Hahaha. Soo fun! Basically you’d have to find a paper and sit on it when the music stops and you stop dancing, however me and her would drag the paper along with out feet and dance. Omgad. Awesome times. Then we started air-guitaring. Man, that was fun! I miss her so much already. Yeah… to be honest I didn’t even eat, maybe it was loss of appetite or something. So... we continued to dance. And then… we got bored and we had to get into the hall for the leaving ceremony. The moments of tears began. Year 7 started the formal procedure and I drummed to the song they were singing, because... I’m the only one that knows how to. I’m not bragging... It’s true. Lol. Then year eights speech, and song and gifts.. blah. And then ours; Year nine. I had to sing with a couple of other girls, and they messed up, and I found myself singing alone. o.0 I was so embarrassed. We read out a couple of speeches, and we didn’t prepare anything for miss Jama, so I got on stage and apologised on behalf of my stupid and forgetting class. Am I the only one that cares……..even though I didn’t like her much, and loved annoying her. Then it was year 10’s go…… blah. The teachers said a little something to each of us… And they all cried. I pretended to cry, and @RedStitches_MCR help me, and started comforting me… knowing I was faking. We are so funny. I lover her. So much… I wish she could come back. She’s the only one to hold me when I’m gonna brake and fall apart. Oh well… D: Umm.. with that school had finished. I probably missed out a lot, but seriously.. it was all good. Then… the whole of key stage three and four stayed back longer than usual to say bye. :’( It was so upsetting, I have this theory where if you touch your eye, then stare at a bright object *the light* for long, you’d start crying… I tried that, and miss begum fell for it. She gave us all presents as a thank you, and she cried so hard. She hugged me first..  xD. And then.. yeah… I went off and hugged miss hussain, she had said ‘goodbye my arab princess, take care of yourself and your class.. okay’ and I had said yeah. No tears nothing. Then I found miss khalique, and I hugged her, and I cried a little, she wasn’t leaving, it’s just that I was so attached to her. She’d said ‘promise me you’ll take care of yourself’ and I couldn’t take it. I knew I’d mess up in the holidays… Especially having my mum away for about a month. But I promised, and now I’d have to keep it. I went to Ms Jama after that, and then I felt really terrible, I had been so horrible and disobeying to her, I’d shout stuff like ‘Miss, don’t deny what we’ve had’ In front of the class.. Man, I’m gonna miss her. Ummm.. It wasn’t that much of an emotional moment, because… I act differently towards her. I know... I’m such a fake. I LIE. Haha.. I cried, and apologised.  xD. Then.. Miss mohammed. Man, this was the worst. She… is amazing. Seriously, when other people would say stuff like ‘stop seeking attention, and go see a psychologist’ she’d make me turn to Allah. Man.. I love her. That was too emotional. I didn’t cry at first… because I thought she had been faking tears, but she wasn’t when I looked, and I just broke down. I told her how much I appreciated her and everything, and she told me something very weird. She said ‘It was Jama that made me love you, she’d always go on and on about you, so then… that’s what made me closer to you’ I didn’t know what to day. Miss jama.. I felt so terrible. I should of appreciated what I had when I had it. But no… What stupid mistakes I make. I went off to the art room, and shook all the tears off. @RedStitches_MCR had gone. And… yeah… It all felt better then. I said goodbye to miss butt, and messed up our moment when hugging by sticking a little umbrella on her headscarf. Oh... silly me. And one last goodbye to miss khalique, I couldn’t stop laughing when she said ‘Tameer’ or something like that. I love Tamer, he makes me cry.  :’) And she tells me to stop listening to music and stuff and then she blames my own action on herself. Wtf. It’s my wrong doing, my weakness. Oh whatever. Then another goodbye to Ms Mohammed, here she wiped my stupid waterfall with her sleeve, and said she’d have put me in her Curriculum vitae, as quwwat ul islam something something. I dunno… I’m forgetful. Or rather... I don’t want to say it. I’ve never felt so valuable, and well.. that special. Am I really that worth it.. or was everything an act. Wow.. I’ve gone mental again. Sane-less. *or... Rather insane* I did something stupid and said bye to the year seven form tutor, miss begum.. and apologised.. I’m also very disrespecting in her lessons. She gave me this pencil present… I refused to take it, and said I didn’t deserve it.. Whatever. C’mon.. A pencil. Oh crap, I’m so ungrateful. Fine... I love that pencil, it has a HEART rubber on the top… Yeah.. And I walked out with Amina Q, I told her what miss Butt has once said to me.. That well.. Kept me going. I told her I feel as if it’s not the last time I see you. And it was true... It didn’t feel like the end. ‘Bye beautiful loser!’ I told her. *personal joke* And it was pouring, and I walked it to Azhar and took the 25 from there.. I felt like walking alone in the rain… It’s a disguise when you’re in tears. This really large woman sat next to me. D: That was scary. Umm.. From Stratford shopping centre I walked it home… and stayed in the park for around half an hour until I was calm… I never knew school played such a big role in my life. I had always dreaded it. Anyway.. I know what I should hold on to, and leave now. When I got home, I left my food in the kitchen, because I claimed I had a large lunch, and went straight to bed…and slept. *after tweeting of course* I woke up 8ish to find some frequent guests my mum’s always inviting. Or rather.. the guests inviting themselves. I don’t know… I said hi, ate a bit, and decided I shall go back to my live journals.. And here is one I think I shall always treasure. I never knew I was like this. Self-discovery I call it. In favour to Julian’s poem.  xD.
My phrase for the day;;
A Day Of Tears, And Overcoming Fears. Also A Day I Realise How Much It All Means To Me. It’s One I Shall Always Remember.

I should get off my computer now, and maybe move around a bit. I’ll get paralyzed like this.
*gets up….or rather……moves hand off keyboard*
 *sign out. DS.*