The Bottle Cap Who Wanted to be an Extremely Hot Vampire

Once upon a time there was a guy named Peter. Peter was a very bad guy, for example at exactly 10:32 he smuggled a beer into a late night showing of Dracula even though that is obviously against theater policy and he didn't even pay for the movie. But this story is not about Peter the Bad Guy. No this story is about Carl the Okayish guy.
You see, Carl the Okayish Guy bought a mountain dew from a 7-eleven with a manager named Bobette the Ugly Girl...Thing and Bobette the Ugly Girl...Thing was magical. And she...thing had a crush on Carl 3.5 seconds after he entered the 7-eleven. So as he bought the mountain dew she...thing enchanted the soda, turning it into a SUPERsoda. No one knows what a SUPERsoda really is.
Carl walked away from Bobette and into the lonely streets of Santa Carla singing "Scottie doesn'y know that Fiona and me do it in her van every Sunday she tells him she's at chruch but she doesn't go, still she's on her knees and Scottie doesn't know." and then he dropped the mountain dew bottle cap and took a swig, dying immeadiately. Turn s out he was stabbed with a protest sign that read TAKE THAT LITTER BUG!!! MWAHHAHAHAHAAHA.
And so Lil Angelo Wupkins was born. A bottle cap against the world he rolled around, confused and lost as to how he became alive in the first place and very mad at the author for naming him Lil Angelo Wupkins. Of course the author popped up, dragging Marina with her shouting, "It's totally her falut!!! I wanted to name him Puppy Wupkins and she wanted to name him Angelo and then she made me compromise with Angelo Wupkins but I didn't want to!!!!!" Marina swiftly hit the author on the head, "You named your story character after your stuffed animal?" author nodded solemly. And then they disappeared.
Lil Angelo Wupkins blinked without blinking (he doesn't have eyes!) and wondered why he could see without eyes, smell without ears and yadda yadda.
"So it was Jeremy in 1983 in his Ocean Pacific T who got a bloody knee on his skate board in the half pipe in the backyard that Tuesday night. And I'm only gonna picere my left ear and I've been working on this mustache all summer long and my favorite band will always be Tears for Fears and I'm gonna wear a pink tux to the prom. Cutting class through the first floor window he's drivin fast cause he never did a thing slow and I look up to my big bro cause in the 80s all the ladies grabbed his hand and couldn't let go." Cary Elwes sang softly all sad like.
Lil Angelo Wupkins rolled over to Cary Elwes, "Why are you all sad like?"
Cary Elwes, "Because I've fallen in love with the 80s."
"When everything was going worng and things were just a little strange, its been so long now your've forgotten how to smile. And over head the skies are clear but it still seem to rain on you and your only friends all have better things to do. When your down and lost and you need a helping hand when your down and lost along the way oh just tell yourself I'lllllllll I'll be okay." Lil Angello sang to him softly.
Cary Elwes blinked, "I'lllllllll I'll be okay."
"Your not alone, your not alone, your not alone, just tell yourself I'll be okay!" Lil Angelo Wupkins sang
Angelo smiled, patted Cary Elwes' knee rolled along his merry way.
"Room on the 3rd floor not what we asked for i'm not tired enough to sleep one bed is broken next room is smokin air conditionin stuck on heat and out side its rainin and the guest upstairs complainin about the room thats got the tv too loud. i guess that times like these remind me that i've got to keep my feet on the ground." Celine Dion sang from a zero star hotel room.
"That poor, poor Canadian." Lil Angelo Wupkin muttered and rolled on.
"I've been here before a few times and I'm quite aware we're dying. And your hands they shake the goodbyes and I'll take you back if you'd have me. So here I am I'm trying so here i am are you ready? Come on let me hold you,touch you, feel you, always. Kiss you, taste you, all night, always." David sang
"Wow, are you a vampire?" Lil Angelo Wupkins asked
David nodded and continued his butchering of the lyrics.
"I've always wanted to be a vampire." Lil Angelo Wupkins whispered whistfully.
Everyone on the streets gave sullen nods.
Leah hugged Lil Angelo Wupkins, "I've always wanted to be with Kamui! Well there was that time way back like two years ago that I wanted to be with Sync but I secretly unknowingly wanted to be with Kamui, even then!"
"We should be friends." Leah suggested
Lil Angelo Wupkins only nodded and sniffed.
Leah sat next to Lil Angelo Wupkins and thought, "Oh! I know what will make you happy!" She reached behind her and pulled out the amazing Kamui plushie the author and KT bought her for her birthday, "You can touch Kamui!!!!!"
Lil Angelo Wupkins shook his nonexistant head, "No thank you."
Leah fell backwards in shock, "O-M-Kamui."
"I'm a guy." Angelo explained, "Its nice, but I don't swing that way."
Leah sat up, "Oh. I thought that bottle caps were anti gender specfic."
"Na, we're new age."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
El Fin
It was epic, right? I thought that the ending was beautiful. Anyway if you made it this far please comment, even to say blaberface. Oh and if you can name all the songs/artist/songs and their artists message me, I wanna see who can name them!!!!
Oh and I don't own practically any of this. So yeah no copyright, I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings.
And people I wrote into this may not be like that in real life so no hate mail to anyone BUT me. I like gatting hate mail. It tells me a person is really jealous to message you saying they hate you^^
DEDICATION!!!! To Leah (AriSaysLOLLERSKATES!) for me giving the idea of bottle caps and being awesome.)
And Marina (made.to.be.broken) mainly cause i used her in this for a few seconds.
If you made it this far comment twice and i'll message you a cookie of achievement...some how. And if you know how to message cookies commet three times and i'll arrange you to message me one.
EL FIN!!!!