I don't know anymore.

I want a boyfriend so badly that it’s pathetic.

Now, what I’m about to say is what Janie says in the next 7LK update, mostly because I put most of my own emotions in her character.

But like.. I don’t want to go through all the process of hooking up, breaking up, making up. I don’t want any part of it! It seems stupid to me!

And then I think about it again. I don’t want to go through any of this but I want to know how my life will end. Will I end up with a guy that really cares about me? Will I ever be good enough at all?

I want a guy who will love me. I want a guy who will want to love me. I want him to be there whenever. I want him to kiss me randomly. I want him to hug me. I want him to want me to be in his arms.

I don’t even know who he is yet! But I want to be in his arms and I want to be able to call him mine without having any doubt whatsoever about losing him to someone else because I’m not good enough.

Is that too much to ask?