It's not official until its facebook official. (I need some advice.)

So I like this dude, Dave. I like him a lot, like a lot more than normal crushes. So much actually that after a year of liking him I finally started talking to him on facebook, and eventually messaged him telling him everything. He was pretty cool about it, and actually commended me for my honesty. So this past week he got a girlfriend. I don’t really like this girl, I used to, but she has changed from a little innocent freshman to a whore of a sophmore. (No offense?) So I have obviously been very upset. I have no idea why. It just hurts. A lot. I want to be mad at him, but I have no reason to be. For a whole day after I was informed, I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t pretty enough. I would never be worth anything. Overall: I felt like shit. Hot fucking shit sitting on a sidewalk on a 100 degree day. (Sorry for the image.) So I updated my status frequently with emo statuses. And on the football game on friday the lovely couple was all over each other (They had only been going out for a day, mind you.) So I had been depressed all day and then I had to stare at this for 4 hours. It was pure torture. And then I saw them kiss. And I wanted to rip my eyeballs out. But what I really did was bawl. I cried and cried and cried. I don’t know why. My one friend just hugged me and told me let it out. I kinda love her for that. Eventually I was “fine.” After the night was over, I was feeling kinda hopeless, so I updated my status as “Fuck it. Let it be. I’ll learn to deal.” You know what he said? “That’s the spirit!“I sincerely wanted to punch him. So apparently he had caught on. (It was kinda hard not to.) So how does this tie into today’s happenings? He updated his status as this: “Deal with it folks. It’s your fault for not acting fast enough. I don’t hate others when I’m too slow, I get over it.” So now I feel like if I would’ve started talking to him sooner, it would have been me he was holding hands with. And me he would’ve kissed on the cheek at the football game. It may be something completely different that he is referring to, but to me he just slapped me in the face and said “Na na na na na!”

Summary: I feel even worse than the steaming shit right now and I want to cry. A lot. And I can’t even tell him how I feel, because then I will feel like a fool. A broken hearted fool.

And the worse part is: I found out they were dating through facebook. I guess what they say is true, “It’s not official until it’s facebook official.” Fuck. That.

Sorry for the long entry. I had to let it out. :’(