I'm a growing girl

So last night I spent the night at my friends house and I knew his parents weren't home and I knew of course I knew his sisters would be throwing a party but I went because I thought that we wouldn't be able to do anything. Besides, people way out of my age range scare me for some reason, well not really scare but make me feel uncomfortable.

So it turns out we do get to do stuff. And I'm like alright cool, I'll get buzzed.

But no, the "stuff" (weed) Justin gets. Nights of Columbus! We did two bowls, 2 rounds basically.

And I thought because Justin's friend had given us so much for so little it would be crappy. No, dead wrong.

I was texting when everything just starts to look weird. And I look up, and it was like everything was moving but it wasn't. And I'm standing there, beginning to sway, feel heavy and breath hard and all I can say is "Wait, wait wait," and I say that maybe ten times.

Justin and Jordan and Justin's cousin are all just watching me. And all of the sudden it feels like I've gained 300 pounds. I completely collapsed. Lucky for me Justin caught me. I layed my head in his lap, clutching the grass just trying to get a grip.

I try to stand back up, can't, simply can't.

Would you like to know the best part? I'm one of those people who text while they are high/drunk. Ohhhhh the texts I sent. One was to my ex. Would you like to read the text?

"I did reamember when I told u bhis parents are gone. Im breathing like I were to be having sex. help. Soo heavy. Plz I wwant someone sober"

Oh when I realized I accidentally sent that to be totally straight edge ex boyfriend. I flipped the heck out. I was scared at the time because we were all high at that time and I was laying on the ground scared. I wanted someone to be be my anchor so I could just know there is someone still there with half a brain.

So I think, great now he thinks I'm not a virgin anymore, and I'm a pot head. There goes my friendship, there go my chances with him. Good bye! Gone forever more.

I vowed right then and there to never do that crap again. I just might stick to it.