Is this for real?? It still seems as if this is nothing more than a dream. After a good 6 years of being a somewhat hardcore Atheist, I get baptized in February. Never did I think I would ever say/write that previous statement--it's so surreal. Now don't get me wrong, I put up one hard fight. 6 years of believing scientific facts and just seeing it all melt away, well I broke down in tears. But the thing replacing it is just as beautiful, just as fact. (<----does that sentence even make sense?? ah well, I'll just go with it)
I'm still slightly scared and nervous, I keep thinking it's all going to fall apart at the last minute. Despite all of my worries though, I can't keep myself from smiling everytime I think about it. And as cheesy as this will sound, I feel....whole and alive for the first time in my life. I'm truly excited about this.
Of course there's still some scientific and bible stuff that I need sorted out, but I'm willing to just submerse myself into His arms, let Him take full control and see what He unfolds for me. It's been a long, twisting path of never-ending questions and confusion, but I believe I have finally found my way home.
Seeing as someone out there will most likely take this as being a journal trying to convert others, I want to say this: emotions greatly overpower me, and typically I tend to bottle up them. I have found that writing them out helps to keep me in check. This will not be an exception---I will not have something so beautiful become destroyed.
Lord, I give you my being, my heart, my soul. May you take me as I am, love me, and guide me through life as yours. Amen.
"The words are I love you
And I have to believe in you"
^^ Flyleaf
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