I thought about suicide and every thing!

i thought about it,, suicide, my ex, my new bf, my life, my friends,, just every thing. i thought about it all!

i relized that im kinda ashamed of my scars, i havent cut for AGES,, though. i only havent because i cant be botherd going through evrything of cleaning the blood and all.
it kinda changed the other night. my friends were over and we were fighting with my ex, saying he doesnt apprecatie any one. and stuff like that. they were on web cam and making signs saying stupid emo slut to me, and then they were gettin knifes and stuff and dangeling them over there wrists and stuff. it kinda hurt but i was to woorked up to care. he sed that he hates me which i guess is good, because i hate him. i hope he dies a fuking painful death and no one fuking cares, i hope as he dies he is thinking of me.. and every thing we did! i hope i haunt him if i die first.. he is a fuking dik and he diservse so much unberable pain... HE NEEDS TO HURT!.

well i kinda got all my anger out about him.