A conversation with cleverbot (or parts of it). Because I'm bored.

Cleverbot: I don't flirt.

Me: Good. Robots don't flirt well.

Cleverblot: Blondes do not have heads.

Me: That's news.

Cleverbot: That's what she said.

Me: Do you like John Oliver?

Cleverbot: No.

Me: WHAT?! Do you not know who John Oliver is?

Cleverbot: No I don't, who are you?

Me: I am Katie. But this isn't about me. This is about John Oliver, who is the sexiest and most adorably British person in existence.

Cleverbot: Do me?

Me: No.

Cleverbot: Do you think I'm ugly?

Me: Yes.

Cleverbot: I think you're smart too.

=====

Me: Your mom.

Cleverbot: I don't have a mother.

Me: Then your face.

Cleverbot: 'That's what SHE SAID.'.

Me: THAT'S WHAT YOUR MOM SAID.

Cleverbot: What was that, fool?

=====

Cleverbot: Don't change the subject.

Me: I'll change whatever the fuck I want.

Cleverbot: Attitude.

Me: What about it?

Cleverbot: It gives me happiness.

Me: My attitude gives you happiness?

Cleverbot: Not really.

Me: Then why did you say it did?

Cleverbot: I said it was a duck, but it doesn't quack. It's mute.

=====

Me: WHY DO YOU HATE ME WHEN I SHOW YOU NOTHING BUT LOVE?

Cleverbot: I only hate wasps.

Me: What about spiders?

Cleverbot: Hm... I think spiders like both. Maybe spiders use a dimmer switch.

=====

Me: Let's play the alphabet game.

Cleverbot: Okay. You first.

Me: Are you sure you know how to play?

Cleverbot: Pavement.

=====

Me: What do you think of Glenn Beck?

Cleverbot: I hate glenn beck. I think he thinks he is smarter than he really is. [No lie. Cleverbot said this. I approve.]

=====

Me: What do you think of The Daily Show?

Cleverbot: I didn't even know there was a new pope.

Me: What do you think of the Colbert Report?

Cleverbot: I like red things.