December 2008

December 17th
It seems things look as close to the story then ever. It's been endless raining the past three days. Jacob seems more and more like the character. When I think of things I like, I've gotten more similar in ways and relate to. My Edward isn't a vampire, mine is human I can be with him for the rest of my life. Though it is crazy to say that I had agreed to marry him. I want to break up with Jacob, though not break his heart. Killing or stabbing someone is not in the book of things I want to do. Though I have to make a choice.

December 25th
I have grown to much see the choices I make. I decided to not be friends with Jacob. He'd been too much of trouble for me. I decided to go the path of my Edward. I am trying not to mop around and feel sorry for myself.

December 26th
I feel as though I'd lost a part of me.
The fun, happy person that I was.
It would seem days go by slowly when I am watching them.
It doesn't help to look at the clock, because only seconds pass.
The minutes don't seem to be like seconds anymore.
I hate of the misery life can be once making a mistake.

December 31st
I don't know what to do. I am so confused in so many ways. I feel really bad for Jacob, because he says that he is in love with me.