Breaking up is always, always hard...

I've just broken up with my boyfriend of 10 months, almost a year... It hurts like hell and I was the one who took the decision.

I miss him immensely and sometimes I pretty much forget exactly why I did this, if he was so cute, love me so much, care for me, if he did everything for me...

It was because I was no longer able to be in a relationship with him, because the fissures had become cracks that left us unable to reach out for each other, it was because I felt like drowning all the time, because his eyes hurt more than anything, it didn't matter... It was because I felt so repressed, and he was sad all the time, and his attitude was always pessimist, because we didn't like anything together, because he always found a way to make it all dark, because when you have to say "it was a good day wasn't it?" then it means the rest are not, because the kisses lacked of that thing that makes you melt, because everything seemed a repetition of itself, because we never planned to be together forever, and because what we planned we rarely did it...

There was so much wrong in it, despite all the great stuff, all the tenderness, sweet misery, all the talking and hearing we had once... Now it's just gone into memory, I like memories, but it takes time...