Just Some Silly Rant

Alright, so I'm good at ranting and blowing off steam, but the one person I want to just scream at is across the country and I'd have no effect trying to yell it to him...several people would suggest that I go to the Funny Farm, for randomly yelling profanities and ranting in the middle of the day, from my 11th story home.
What are features a good friend should have? Well, I think that I should make a list of things that irk me about this one friend that I have, about how he isn't being my friend, but my enemy.

1. Don't judge. Listen to what I have to say and don't be a jerk and just yell at me.

2. Be a friend, not a parent, I already have, what? 3 of those. My mom, Aunt, and step-dad. I have friends for a reason, to bitch and whine about things that I can't bitch and whine to them.

3. You're a friend. You know what I like, what I hate, and what can hurt me. Don't use those against me. It hurts, it really does, when the only things you love are thrown back in your face as a threat.

4. You really don't know me if you don't know this one. I love Emily more then I love myself, and you really should know that I would do anything to keep her happy, I could do anything for her. You trying to use her against me is a bitch move. I will not take that lightly. You try that again, and I'll fly over to N.S., find your house, and knock you the fuck out.

5. Don't turn my only friends against me. I love them with all my heart and they're the only reason I'm making it as far as I am, probably the only reason I'm still alive. If you turn them against me, I wouldn't be able to keep going and I'd probably be an anti-social little bitch with no life. So don't you dare turn them against me.

6. I will not, I repeat, WILL NOT, listen to anything you have to say if you will not listen to me.

7. Don't yell and scream, keep a rational mind when speaking to me about anything, or your words will go in one ear and out the other. And I'll just get angry back.

8. Don't lie.

9. Accept me for me. If you don't like who I am or what I do, that's your issue, don't make it mine. If I do something you don't like, ignore it, or at least don't judge me for it. I'm not a terrible person.

10. Just because you say something, or tell someone to do/be something, doesn't mean it'll happy. The world isn't yours to control, it's not your puppet show, and I am not something you can control.

11. I am Faith. Faith is fucking invincible. Faith. Will. Not. Die.