escapism.

i graduated from high school may 20th and that fact that i probably won't ever see some of my closest friends again kills me. i was always bittersweet towards the inevitability that is change and that taste has been going sour in my mouth for the past few weeks.

summer has always been boring for me. of course when i was in school i couldn't wait for it to come. but now that it's here, i feel hopeless, like ghost, with nothing to do but roam aimlessly. one of my best buddy's is moving to laguna beach for art school, which got my thinking about a road trip for some reason. i've always like the idea of the open road, no parents, freedom. i should do something worthwhile to celebrate the massive forward step i'm about to take in my life, right? i just have this picturesque vision of what i want to happen on this journey of mine that will most likely not happen.

i want to take a road trip to nowhere. not a big city where there's an over-population of dumb tourists. i want to drive through small towns in a 1970s black dodge charger and take pictures of train car-styled diners. forget swimming at overcrowded & polluted beaches, my friends and i will swim in a lake surrounded by tall grass and cattail weeds and live off of subway sandwiches, soda, and m&m's for a week. we'll find an old abandoned building, hang out with a boombox, junk food, and have a party all by ourselves. we'll see billions of stars at night compared to the 50 we can barely see in the city. and somehow all of this will change or heighten our perspectives on life and where it will lead us.

i just want to escape before reality comes and hits me square in the freakin' face.