I want to not feel so sad and alone today.

I woke up this morning in a good mood, pretty lucky since I have an exam each day for the next three days. But now I don't feel so great. I found myself thinking of all the things that make me sad, and then my mum and dad both mentioned things that worry me and make me stay in my mind, not things about me but something that's been a source of conflict in our family for a long time. It just really sucks, like I feel as if I'm constantly walking on eggshells, waiting for something to go wrong, waiting for shit to hit the fan. And it sucks being an only child because as much as I talk to other people no one really knows how it feels, and it makes me feel really alone. It just rips me to shreds every time I think about something else happening and going wrong because I just would like things to be okay and normal like in every other family. I know things aren't supposed to be easy but right now it's so hard to not dwell on the possibility of something bad. It's times like this I miss being a little kid and not knowing what's going on, not being old enough to understand. People try to tell me to do certain things to ease my own mind but it never makes it any better, usually makes me worry more and makes it worse. I wish I had a brother or sister so bad, someone who knew exactly what it's like and I feel bad always being sad about it with others because I don't want to bring them down. It just really sucks so bad =(.
Thanks for reading, I know I probably sound really depressing, but I just want to cry.