comment swap

Well call me annoying or pesky but I would really appreciate some comments on my story Jasmine. Unfortunately I cannot link things as I am useless with that sort of thing. Now I bet you're wondering why I am so desperate for comments. Well I wish to publish my story however in order to do so I need it critiqued by the age range I am aiming at which makes you Mibba lot perfect for the job. In return for your comments I will read your stories or poems and comment on them. Thank you for your time and I hope to see some help ful comments. Anything at all which looks wrong or needs improvement then please let me know.