I don't wanna feel the way that I do...

...I just wanna be right here with you
I don't wanna see, see us apart
I just wanna tell you straight from my heart
I miss you

And I do. I hate feeling these gooey feelings in my chest and I hate all the mushiness that goes along with it. The anxiety and excitement and especially the adrenaline are really awful combined with those feelings. All those feelings together with a hint of sadness is the way I feel when I think about C. God, why does he have to be in rehab and why must we live sort of far away? I hate it! I hate it hate it hate it and I want him back, the way I had him in the hospital. When each other is all that we had. It was awesome and amazing and everything else wonderful that you can think of.

...I don't wanna feel
I don't wanna feel
The way I do