Reopening old wounds

I'm a failure. A complete failure.

I've been on the edge of falling back into an old habit. Cutting. And yesterday I failed, and did a number on my leg. But it felt so right.

Yesterday I decided I was done being ignored by my first boyfriend. I didn't want to be with someone who "didn't want to talk to me" He starts telling me about family trouble he's been having. And I feel bad, I really do. But he knows I have family problems all the time, but that's never stopped me from getting on the computer and talking to him (we kinda had a long-distance relationship you could say.)

And then when I told him about cutting he didn't care. All he wanted to know is if I still wanted to be with him.

My mother has only made my day worse today. She never notices when I'm upset, ever. She only realize about the cutting before because she saw them. And even then I don't think she knew how bad it was. She just thought it was something I was doing to be cool.

God, I don't mean to sound like a whiny emo, but sometimes I really feel like the people I care about(several friends not being included about this) don't give a fuck about my problems. They only want to use me to make themselves feel better. Most of my friends just want to talk about their problems, they want me to make them feel better about their petty dramas. But doesn't anyone see that I'm falling?