Rant 16 : Damn...Senior Year.

Hell. This is my senior year.

It seems like it came so fast. I remember my freshman year ; scared, alone, and innocent. It's so weird, thinking back on everything. Regrets and guilts. Happiness and friendship. Loves and hates. Making myself adapt into crowds and fad. And in the end, everyone that I thought of great, was anything but. And they abandoned me.

And now I'm alone.

It's somewhat refreshing, knowing now I can be myself. I have no friends, I'm not impressing anyone anymore. And yet, that shadow of loneness over comes me every time I step foot in the lunch room or when a group assignment is tossed at us.

To add to it, I have college to think about.

I have no clue in hell what I want to major in, I haven taken my PSAT/ACT test, and i dont know how to get scholarship money. I wanted to go to a college in NYC freshman year, but realitly hit me ; I've only been to MYC my middle school year. I dont know anyone in NYC, no job, no set goal, just the hope that i'll make some friends in common with me. Which is childish. Sadly, my mom dosent see that I'm in reality now and wont accept me going to any school in-state. Which is ridiculous cause A.) its my life not hers and B.) Columbia is 30,000 a fuckin year.

So basically, I'm a confused, uncertain seventeen year old wondering how my life is gonna end up.

THE END