Perception Of Love

I feel empty most of the time. Or do i feel flooded with so much emotion i began to feel numb. I am so confused. I love you but i loath what you've done to me. I cannot sleep without your warmth and i cannot breathe without your eyes. Come accept me , come embrace me. Take my arms and let them wrap you and protect you from all that threatens you and what you stand for. I am willing to give my everything for you. And you dont even acknowledge it. But somehow deep in my shredded soul i accept that with open arms and eyes misted over with tears not yet fallen. I am okay with you not loving me. But i am not okay with you not even noticing a thread of love i have for you which i have sowed into my emotions and crystalized in my thoughts. Its almost as if your rejecting me with out letting the words fall harshly on your lips. Oh your lips. I would give anything to see them and touch them. Feel them over my neck and pressed boldly against mine. Oh how my smoldered heart will be reborn into the brightest flame this earth has ever felt. My heart would rise out of the pits of my stomach and began to beat in unison with yours. But this is merely a dream and oh how dreams are sweet and pleasant when your dreaming but when you wake up you realize that maybe its not meant to be or not destined to happen. Maybe just maybe the one you love is supposed to kill you , is supposed to shoot you point blank range with a pistol loaded with hate and not love you at all. Its our perception that determines our whole way of thinking. And i need to change mine. The thought of being free of you is heavenly and puts me to sleep with dreams i perceive perfectly. But how , how do i change my perception of you and all your perfected flaws, your perfected skin and perfected ways. Oh how your imperfections make you perfect. And how your imperfections make me dream of you and all the love you dont have for me. Maybe i will wake noticing you for what you are. But until then i am bound to say your name everyday with hope of us being together and i wont stop loving you. I will not ...until you perceive me as your lover or i perceive you as nothing but a mere illusion blinding my path with your irrelevant light .Hmph...........