My story, Comment swap?

Hey! Guys, i was wondering, if any of you would care to read my first original fiction, http://stories.mibba.com/read/312057/Im-unashmed-Im-gunna-show-my-scar/
If any of you do read it, i'd like it if you gave your brutally honest opinions and tell me if its crap or not.
Okay, erm Comment Swap?

1.How Are you?
I'm fine
2. What are you doing?
listening to The Limousines
3. Favourite Animal?
Bats, Love them
4. Favourite Colour?
Blue, any kind
5. What did you do with you day?
Nothing. Actually, I lie, I went to see my nana, she's just got back from the hospital