Just... thoughts

This is a huge rant that I wrote while on the train back from this bike tour I participated in in the Martimes (of Canada). I just wanna get this out there before I EXPLODE. kaboom. The following is kind of blunt so if you're super easily triggered don't read ahead.

Since I was eight years old I was always picking my problems away. There would be extra layers of skin all over my body that would turn into scabs because I compulsively kept scratching them everytime they healed over. Nothing seemed more satisfying than a freshly picked scab. But that feeling was always so temporary.
The same could be said for the bulimia. Instead of dealing with my problems and anxieties in a healthy way respectful to myself I just ate and threw them up and away. But the same anxieties would always come back to find me. Rinse. Lather. Repeat.
Fresh out of high school, the idea of loving and embracing my quirks seemed like a completely foreign concept. Aren't we taught to loathe the people we've become? We must always be improving ourselves, and not in a deep, intensely emotional sense, but in a superficial, vain, materialistic kind of way.
To put it bluntly, right now, in my relationship with Western society we have hit a fairly rough patch. Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful to be able to have the rights I have when it comes to being a female member of society, because many women are not as lucky. However, there are still a few things that don't necessarily enthuse me.
Why does the media have to drill it in our heads that we need to buy all these products in order to feel worthwhile? Or we have to be thin to be happy and healthy and sexy? I realize it's so that they make money, but does it have to be in such a demoralizing way? It could be argued that people could simply grow a backbone and ignore the plethora of images of sickeningly thin girls who are pasted in magazines. I just feel that teenage girls, the same could be said for guys as well, but I'm just speaking from personal experience, are hard hit when they are at a pretty damn vulnerable age.
Obviously the media doesn't affect everyone like that, but I know too many fucking girls who hate their bodies because of what their peers and the media have shoved down their throats. And just because hating your body doesn't immediately mean you have an eating disorder it is still disconcerting.
It's considered 100% normal, maybe even 'cool' to hate and abuse your body. You should be unhappy with at least one aspect of your body (for good measure).
Why the fuck should we care if our thighs are the size of King's cross station when all that's important in life is truly invisible to they eye (the fox from the Little Prince knows what he's talking about) Who gives a crap if every rib is visible when you spend most of your time lying to your family members about what you're eating and how you feel. 'I'm fine, I swear' doesn't really cut it when you black out on the way from your bedroom to the bathroom.
I really want to do something about this. Something that sings true, genuinely touches every self-conscious, vulnerable person out there. I'm just not sure how to start.
September 21st, 2010 at 05:23pm