my girlfriend

i met this girl almost 2 years ago. from the moment i met her she seemed like the only person in my life that truly cared about me, or maybe it was just me wanting someone to talk to. She came into my life at just the right time, when i was depressed and contemplating suicide. but since my first conversation with her my life has changed. i no longer think about death, now i fear dying without telling her that i love her. i've had afew girlfriends but NONE of them have ever made me feel anything this girl can make me feel. if someone asked me about butterflies when i was dating anyone else i wouldnt even have known what they where, and noone had ever made my heart slow right down then with a kiss make it speed up intensely.
after i started to get to know her it sunk in that i liked her alot, it when from being on a school camp spending hours on end with her, then laying on the ground staring into her beautiful eyes. then after the camp i asked her if she would be my girlfriend and i was lucky enough to get a yes from her, i think that is literaly one of the best choices ive ever made in my life so far i cant think of anything else. we lasted about four months sadly, she told me she wasnt ready for a relationship but i was so sure that she was the only person that could ever make me feel like this. so i told her that i would wait until she was ready to be in a relationship no matter how long it took. now i've never waited for a girl before in my life all my other relationships i just gave up when they broke up with me, but this girl i was not prepaired to give up on. so i waited it took about five months which doesnt seem that long but it feels like forever when the person you love is next to you but you cant be with them although we did remain very close friends.when she was finaly ready i asked her out again so i guess maybe that makes waiting for the girl i love the best choice i have ever made, because now i am still currently going out with her and loving her more then ever. she still gives me those butterflies and when i am going to go see her i become exstatic, but upon ariving at her doorstep i become extremely nervous. i hope we last a long time because she is perfect through my eyes, im scared of losing her after she leaves school, because she means everything to me, she is the only reason i willingly get out of bed in the morning if it wasnt for her i would still be depressed and hurting myself. she is something i am not going to let go of and i would give my life to save her or make her happy, because there is nothing better then seeing her beautiful smile expecially on a day where nothing is going my way. Sometimes when i get home and sit down i just feel helpless like a failure then she will start talking to me over the internet and instantly the smile will come back on my face. during the five months i spent waiting for her to be ready i never lost any feelings for her and still today i love her more and more every day, ever since i first asked her out i never once liked another girl not even a little. i write her 'poems' or big long emails about how much i love her every chance i get. the song she gave me to listen to ever time i missed her now has a play count of 1473 on my itunes and thats not including the like other 1000 or so times i listened to it before my computer broke. i dont know what else i can say about her except i love her and she has my heart <3
words get tossed around and used as if they wernt gold but when i tell her i love her those words are straight from my heart and something that has alot of meaning to me