If only...

If only I had the freedom to to as I wished and be alone, to feed the Serpent that rests within me until there was no more food left in the universe. To bend and to bow just to fill myself with everything there is, everything I could reach vanishing within me as breath does on a cold day. How lovely to be so heavy, pressed into the earth that claws at my feet with open eyes, to be free of judgement, for the word "disgusting" to hold no meaning. Only beauty, only freedom, only peace, only grace combined into the most natural thing in the world. How lovely to eat. How lovely for the Serpent to beg for more and to satisfy it. If only I could. If only I had the solitude in which to do so. If only I could worship it as is proper. If only I could bow before that hedonistic altar to which I owe so much. If only worship wasn't so loud. If only I could eat again.