Mind, soul, and BODY!

The things i have now are great.
i feel perfectly ok. I have a weird life so far.
When guys come to me they think that im a piece of meat.
im not. True my body wants them but i noe that they r all wrong.
im waiting now.
im waiting till i noe im safe.
i want to live.
i want to have a life.
I love.
I lust.
I think.
I pray.
I hope.
I dance.
I sing.
All these things i do to keep ma mind sane.
I want to noe that he is still here with me.
Is this a passion or a sickness?
Is it possible to love and hate at the same time?
I want to noe then again i dont.
Y do i have to feel this lust and pain.
I have noe idea of how to feel.
Wat do i do?