Someone, please, tell me what to do.

The worst feeling in the whole world is watching someone who meant the most to you forget about you. I remember that second to last conversation we had, where you said we both knew this had to end. I don’t know what you were talking about. I thought you’d be in my life forever, I honestly did. Because that’s the way I wanted it. I thought that’s the way you wanted it too. I thought our friendship could get through anything… because it got through everything. But you just don’t need me anymore. And all I want to know is why. Why don’t you need me? I’d do anything for you to see that I was the best friend you’d ever get. I’d do anything for you. I still would. If you asked, I swear to God I would.
I don’t know who to be anymore. I want to take a piece of you with me, because for the longest time, the best part of me was you. What’s the best part of me now? All that remains is hurt. You always used to make that hurt go away. You didn’t do anything special to make me keep coming back to you, but I did. It’s like I’m addicted to your presence. I need it. I need you in my life. And I don’t know why. Why do you do this to me? I feel so pathetic. So petty. So heartbroken. But it feels like I just lost my best friend. And it’s because I did.
I can still guess what you’re doing at every second, with accuracy. I think about you and your best friends playing video games. I think about you at work. I think about how right about now you’re probably sitting on your couch, your feet up on the coffee table. I think about your family. The curses. The jokes. Your smile. Your laugh. Your happiness. And it makes me cry. You’re sitting around, forgetting about me. Moving on like I was never a part of your life. But I’ll never forget about you. Never.
I miss you. I miss who we were, I miss what we had, I miss how you used to feel about me, and I miss how I used to feel about you. I miss our intimacy. But most of all, I just miss your presence. I miss your smell. I miss the way that you hugged me and made everything okay again. Everyone says I need time for this to heal, and that I need to give you time, too. But I don’t want time. I hate time. I hate waiting. I’m sick of waiting around for you, when really, all I want is for you to march on up to me and tell me that you’re still here. Because, honestly, when I think of you, I don’t think about our relationship. I don’t think about kissing you. I just think about you hugging me, wiping my tears, and telling me everything’s going to be okay. I need that right now.
Please come around. Please talk to me. Please need me again. Please…