He was and is still everything i want. I know it's fucking stupid and pathetic of me to always think of him, but i can't help it. I've come to think of him as the perfect guy, so everyone else i meet will be compared against him. And obviously nobody can beat him.
We had our time, but now he's moved on while i'm still here struggling in a pit of despair that i dug for myself. That was the happiest time in my life. It was like i was emotionally dependent on him to feel happy then. And did he make me happy. I feel so pathetic now, because he probably doesn't even think of me at all but I think of him everyday.
The strange thing is that i don't feel like i know him at all (i barely do) and i know i'm not in love with him. But... He's just this person who will always be at the back of my head, reminding me of the benchmark that i have laid out for anyone in the future.
I wish we at least had a chance at giving what we had a go. But no, you have to be an ocean away.
It really sucks.
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