Love

Sooo....I don't know.I've been thinking for a while lately about writing this journal just to help with this crazy rollercoaster ride of emotions I've been on lately.

So basically, at the end of the day-I'm in love.
And it's not some schoolgirl crush, 'i'm in love with a celebrity' kinda thing.It's real, it's a guy who's also in love with me. We see each otehr several times a week, he's my boyfriend, I'm his girlfriend....love.

I've been with guy about 6 months now, and I've always hated those cliche kind of sayings but they've really been amazing, the best months of my life. It's so amazing to know that somewhere, someone's thinking of you, someone thinks you're beautiful...just even that text in the middle of the college day,asking how you're getting on.It all means something, it's special to me.
We told each we loved each other about a month ago, and we both meant it with all your hearts. I'd figured I'd loved him for a good while before that so to say it out loud to him, was really really good.

I suppose in a way, you 'love' everybody you're with to an extent. It's a love based on care, and friendship. But this is different. I've never come across anything, in any of my other relationships...it's burning, it's the most intense set of feelings I've ever experienced.

And most of all, I've found out this love...is fucking terrifying dude!

I'm not saying that I'm scared of my boyfriend...but I'm scared of how this kind of love really leaves you open to all sorts of hurt. I've basically given this guy a gun pointed to my heart and I'm trusting him not to shoot and destroy me. And finally, I understand all thos sappy cliched songs and movies. I understand the Noah/Allie love in The Notebook...cause I'm living it. I'm Allie and he's my Noah. Maybe not forever, I'm not that naive to think I'm going to marry this guy...but god, I really hope he's my Noah for a long time.

So....basically what I'm saying is love is beautiful. It's those funny moments when eating ice cream and get it all over you face to annoy him, it's those special moments when he can throw you down onto a bed, and tickle you until you beg for mercy and he's laughing hysterically himself because as he says 'your laughter's infectious'. And it's those quiet moments when you're relaxed in his arms, and he kissed your forehead, or your cheek or you lips and whispers for only you to hear 'I love you'.

It's the secrets. The secret handhold, the three squeezes when you're holding hands. Three words.I love you. The look when you see something funny, cute or horrible. It's just every moment together.

Love is beautiful, love is terrifying. Love is love. And I wouldn't change it for the world.