Courtney's (Updated) Will.

Welcome to my updated will. I already have a will, but I made it in like grade 9, so I feel the need to update it. This will is basically just me auctioning off a bunch of shit that I own in case I die anytime soon. And here’s how it will work:

First of all, in case anybody doesn’t know what I want to happen when I expire, I shall say it again. I’d like to be cremated, and put into Dr. Pepper bottle. I’d also like to have a crazy mothafuckin’ Pokemon-themed funeral, and hopefully by the time I die, Pokemon will actually exist. Another thing… I want the original members of Guns ‘N’ Roses to reunite just for my funeral to perform “November Rain” while standing on my casket.

OTHER SONGS TO BE PLAYED AT MY FUNERAL:

1.Dust in the Wind / Carry on my Wayward Son – Kansas.
2.Every Breath You Take – The Police.
3.Helena – My Chemical Romance.
4.Comfortably Numb – Pink Floyd.
5.Amazing – Aerosmith.
6.A Little Piece of Heaven – Avenged Sevenfold.
7.I Miss You – Blink-182.
8.Hotel California – Eagles.
9.Goodbye Yellow Brick Road – Elton John.
10.Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now) – Phil Collins.
11.Tell Them She’s Not Scared – Envy on the Coast.
12.Dog and Butterfly – Heart
13.Wasted Years – Iron Maiden.
14.Wheel in the Sky – Journey.
15.Walk With Me in Hell – Lamb of God.
16.Stairway to Heaven – Led Zeppelin. (This and the above song have to be played in order.)
17.Champagne Supernova – Oasis.
18.Every Rose Has Its Thorn – Poison.
19.Cemetery – Say Anything.
20.Snuff – Slipknot.
21.Goodbye – Spice Girls.
22.Here I Go Again – Whitesnake.
23.Have You Ever Seen the Rain? – Creedence Clearwater Revival.
24.More Than Words – Extreme.
25.Come Sail Away – Styx.
26.Lonely Day – System of a Down.
27.Time Stand Still – Rush.

Second of all, yes, I said “auction”. I’m not giving away anything, because that’s just…stupid. Why give away things when you can make a profit out of it? Especially when you’re dead. So, I’m going to list a few things I own, and when I die, they will be auctioned off. Half of the proceeds will go to a charity that supports gays, and the other half will go to my own little foundation called “Trolls United”, which has not been funded yet, but will be.

ITEMS TO BE AUCTIONED:

1.A purple toothbrush (used by Courtney herself)
2.32 GB iPod touch (Awesome music included)
3.Orange and blue bracelets (Worn everyday)
4.Studded belt (Worn everyday)
5.Pillow (Slept on every night, has Jack Skellington’s face on both sides)
6.Winter’s hat (Worn at least 3 days a week, all year round)
7.Professional hairbrush (missing prickles, but still used daily)
8.Christopher (brother of Courtney the great, kind of a douchebag but quite entertaining)
9.A lock of hair (Sell it on eBay for millions if you don’t want it)
10.Glasses (for half blind people only)
11.Autograph (Worth more than you or anyone you know)

I’m still debating on whether I want to auction anything else or just make everyone fight over the above. In the meantime, bid high, or I’m coming back to haunt you.

And just because you're not tagged doesn't mean you can't bid. EVERYONE BID, AND BID EVERYTHING YOU HAVE.

PS. Desmond Martin gets nothing.