Geezus

If you read this you need to read it with a southern twang in your voice.

Geezus wrote the constitution and I follow the constitution. If it weren’t for them Romans killin Geezus we’d never no nuttin. So in a sick way we’s all need to thank them cursed Romans for their durty killin addiction. When the Fathers of the church, I done don’t know what had happened to the mothers, they musta died given labor nasties. Anywho when the Fathers made the church is was clear that Geezus made them read and write good. Now that Constiny feller made Geezus legal so he weren’t no alien no more. Now he could gets him a good job and not haveta tend to the fields no more. Hence the dawning of his carpenteiring carrer. Theodoric was a grizzly German fella. It has been said he had lots of hair. He was from the other place in Yourope. When Geezus made that blind SOB see gain he said and I quote “Told ya I’s awesome.” Now that has been debated over time cuz no one really for shure know if the one guy was just lion or not. But I think it’d be perddy clear if a lion just turnt into a person with people eyes and not no lion hair. In Rome them people who really like Geezus wrote down stuff he said in Greek so other folks could understandem. Jerome wrote it in Latin so the Latin Kings could back up their gang activity with the Bible. Cansinopel was really cool and stuff, but it had smelled really bad due to all the fish guts just layin round. Constantine talked to ah and told em to write K R on their shields because it means KR like Kristin, but today we call it Geezus. The gospel John stuff words say Geezus said he’s a door. People say he meant he is a new universe or sumthin. I think it be weird hearin a door talk. This one time Justine built a really big cool thing that had circles for roofs. Now there was this princess or queen named Theodorra who was talked bad about by Peocspes who said she wanted more holes to please more wieners at once, cuz she was a whore. People said Christians believed in more than one Geezus. But these people didn’t know Geezus. So them folk said there’s only one Geezus. Angels have Halos. Geezus is a judge. He must be on the supreme court. People thought Geezus was a lamb. I wonder if Geezus really was a lamb and people were like “hey we caint tell folks we praise a lamb cuz it’s a animal.” But it can talk with super powers. So it’s like a super lamb with lazer beams shootin out of it’s eyes and such. He also had a cape and his was Geezus and people called him that cuz they all yelled. Geez there goes Us. Cuz they died due to aids and herpes. When munks were takin from china and put in Rome they stayed there and talked about Geezus. Even if Geezus was just a lamb he did a lot of good stuff. He mustve been really fuzzy. Mel Gibson made a move bout Geezus called “Passion of the Christ”. It was sad. They beat the poop outta Geezus. I guess the moral of the story is “Don’t count your chickens till all the eggs hatch.”