Children...

Children…

Children are a funny sort, you either love them or you hate them. Myself, I was once terrified of babies & I’ve never really understood toddlers. I’ve since got over both of those problems and looking after my stepson made me come to terms with the mother I hoped I would one day be.

Now I’m looking at being that mother in 6 short months and I’m terrified and excited at the same time. It’s very difficult to explain. I’m so very impatient to find out if I’m buying pink or blue blankets. I truly want to buy a time machine to fast forward to November to meet my little person and see what they look like, whether they look like me or their daddy. To hear their cry and know that they made it to this world safely and that they are okay and healthy.

But on the other hand I am absolutely pants-p!ssing terrified of November coming. I am so scared of the challenge and responsibility of looking after a tiny little baby 24/7 knowing that as their mother they rely on me 100% to give them everything. My mind cannot comprehend the life change that is going to happen. Everyone around me is constantly reminding me how hard it’s going to be and I’m going to struggle and I find myself thinking…was this a bad idea? Should I be doing this? Am I ready to be a mom? And to be honest I don’t know how to answer these fears.

I guess it all comes back to the fact that I already love my child with every beat of my heart. I live in constant fear that something is happening to them. So I suppose I’ve answered my question already. However hard it is. I will rise to this challenge.

Thanks for reading my ramblings (: