***. Screw Up. Loser. Worthless.. Suicide?..

Hello, My name's Morgan. This is my story.

It all started when I was 11. My father and I fought a lot. So I decided to stay with my mother. Things were good. I had friends, a family who supported me. Somewhat anyways. You see, I was my parents first and only child. Yes, they have other kinds, just not with each other. My dad got married when I was 6 or 7. A few years later they had my little sister, then my younger brother. My mother never married. Had a boyfriend here and they, thats why I have my other two younger brothers. Their names arent important. They wont come up much in my story.
So, now I'm 13 about to be 14 in June. Less than a month actually. But in the past few years a lot has happened. I've drank, smoked, technically been raped. If you say no, that means no. Right?
Well I though that too. Some people dont get it though. A night a few weeks ago. I think it was a Saturday. I had stayed with some guy who I thought really did are about me. My friends did to. So I took the chance and stayed. Obviously you can tell what happened. I wont tell anyone though. It's pointless! Why tell someone something when you can't ever get it back? The one thing that means the world to you, some asswhole will only think of themself. Thinking "Who the hell cares?! It'll happen to you sometime soon anyway, you put yourself out there like some kind of whore. That's just what you are. A whore."
Maybe I should have given up there. I dont know why, but the next week I went back. We had a drink or two. Same thing happened.
Most people would have commited suicide. Trust me, I've thought about it. It's never the answer though. Might seem right at the time, but what if you fail? You'd have to live with that pain. Seeing the hurt in the people who didnt see it coming. What about them? How would they react? I'm not saying dont talk to people about problems. I wish I would have when I really needed to. Maybe it's too late for me. Maybe suicide is best. But then wouldnt all of what I just said be pointless too? Or would it mean more to someone else?