Why am I about to cry?

Maybe because you think I am stupid enough to believe the lies you feed me day in and day out. No I don't question them because If you wanted me to know, you would tell me the truth and as much as it hurts I will accept that fact. As much as it feels as if someone is tap dancing on my heart, i will accept it.
1 year, I have loved you. 1 year, you have been fucking me over again and again. They warned me but I chose not to listen. You aren't the same boy that was my best friend and I want him back. Soon.

Songs ON repeat at the moment-
And you
Can bring me to my knees
Yeah

All this time
That I could make you breathe
Yeah

All the times
That I felt insecure
Yeah

And I leave
A burning path of flame

(Chorus)
I’m on the outside
I’m looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
Cause inside you’re ugly
You’re Ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All this time
That I felt like this won’t add
Once for you

And I taste
What I could never have
It’s from you

All those times
That I tried
My intentions
Full of pride
And I waist
More time than anyone

I’m on the outside
I’m looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
Cause inside you’re ugly
You’re ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times
That I’ve cried
All that’s wasted
It’s all inside

And I feel
All this pain
Stuffed it down
It’s back again

And I lie
Here in bed
All alone
I can’t mend

And I feel
Tomorrow will be okay
But I know

That I’m on the outside
I’m looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
Cause inside you’re ugly
You’re ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

Outside- Staind.
He should take a listen to this.

So Far Away, Fiction, Tonight The World Dies, Strength Of The World, & Chapter Four - Avenged Sevenfold.

A Daydream Away- All Time Low.
Hurt-Adelita's Way.
John Mayer. He just gets put on repeat cause he is normally all depressing.
Hearts Burst Into Fire Acoustic- Bullet For My Valentine, Bittersweet Memories Bullet For My Valentine. It's Complicated, You Had Me At Hello, & Have Faith In Me- A Day To Remember.

I think that's it.
Fuck this, I hate getting all depressed.
Glad I threw my blades out.
Okay so, I just hid them.
But I will not go there tonight. The scars just healed on my hip. I will not put any new ones.

I hope..