Insecure

I feel insecure by some stuff well i have some problem about my self especially my weight every time i loose some weight i gain some weight i also get depress really easy since the age of 12-13 year old i don't really open my self to my family the way i know them i don't wanna admit that I'm against of religion i stop believing in god like in fifth grade (for some personal reason). I all ways wish to runaway and leave everything behind and start a new fresh life
I`m sick that everyone make fun of me saying that i slit my wrist like a emo kid then they start saying that I'm satanic only because i wear dark color and that i don't believe in god. People in my school does`t even know me even i met them since kinder (some of them)
1. I do not cut my self
2. I'm not satanic I'm more atheist
3. For me the depression is not like a snap then everything is fine is not that easy to take it off
4. I do admit my self to about suicide but I'm controlling my self knowing that i only have 3 year to go to college! And start a new life in there
5. I all ways had some problem with my weight i don't know why even i put my self lot of pressure just to loose them.